There are piles upon piles of relationship books, endless pages of love podcasts, and millions of relationship therapists who all swear they have the key to the perfect relationship. But when it comes down to it, people who have been through it themselves give the best relationship advice.
People think that we should find perfect love, which is not true. We won’t have to do any work when we meet this person—they’ll be our partner right away. This is a cute story to believe in, and Disney has been telling us this story for generations. But the truth is that love is produced, not found. Mr. and Mrs. Lombardi are 95 years old and have been married for more than 72 years each.
I definitely know a lot more than most people do about how to keep a relationship going. They are happy to share what they have done to make their marriage not only last but also do well.
1. Compliment one another.
If you’ve been with your partner for a while, you might think they already know how you feel about them. That being said, you should always let them know how much you value them. Say something nice about your partner every day, even if you have to say it more than once.
2. Keep the spark alive.
Do not stop having s e x. It’s not likely that you’ll have s e x every day after the beginning. If you do, that’s great, but if the s e x slows down and happens less often, enjoy the times you do get close. And make it a point to be close in other ways when you’re not having s e x.
3. Spend time with your family.
It’s important to have a good relationship with your partner, but it’s not the only relationship you have. Stay close to your friends and family so that you can make memories with them.
4. Take care of each other.
No matter how much you love each other, you won’t be there for each other if you don’t take care of yourself. Take good care of your health and the health of your partner. Work out daily and eat a balanced diet.
5. Choose love every day.
There will be times when you don’t like your partner. But don’t forget what brought you two together in the first place. Also, keep choosing love even when it’s hard.
From a young age, we are told that when we grow up, we will meet our prince charming and everything will be perfect. Sad to say, that’s not true. If you want your relationship to last, you have to find things you both agree on and keep choosing love every day, even if it’s hellishly hard.
6. Don’t cheat.
If you turn on your partner, you could end the bond you have with them, even if you do everything right in your relationship. There are times when someone can forgive their partner, but I promise you that they will never forget.
Going back to how things were before will take a long time, a lot of work, and a lot of pain. Most of the time, things never go back to how they were.
7. It’s okay to argue.
It doesn’t mean your relationship is bad just because you fight. Every pair fights. You can make your relationship last forever if you learn to fight for it more than you fight to be right. How you fight is everything.
8. Never go to bed angry.
They say that you shouldn’t go to bed angry with your partner, no matter how mad you are at them. Instead, k i s s your partner, even if you don’t want to or are mad. They tell you to “just k i s s,” and they are sure that it will help a lot.
9. Be kind to each other all the time.
Respect your partner at all times, even if you don’t agree with them. Just remember to be nice to them, no matter how mad you are or what they did. Just make sure you do it in a “clean” way when you say how you feel, set limits, or argue. Because you can’t change some things.
10. Take care of your kids.
If you have kids together, be kind to them just like you’re kind to your partner. Help them learn how to be good people.
Make them feel like they can go after their dreams and find something they love and are good at. But don’t try to make them live out your unhappy dreams. Don’t forget that they are their own people.
11. Take care of your house.
The way we live shows up in our houses. I think that if our house is a mess and turned upside down, then your life will be too. That’s what the Lombards say: keep your home clean and in order.
12. Take the bad with the good.
There will be bad days and good days. Of course, there will be times when you think your partner is amazing and times when everything they do makes you mad. Don’t forget that none of us is perfect. Love needs complete acceptance.
That means you have to love your partner for all of who they are, not just the things you like. Some people can’t accept their partner as they are, which means they are either not in the right relationship or need to change how they think about love and relationships.