When we are eldest, our parents are all we have in the world. Without them, we wouldn’t be who we are now.
Parents are the ones we look to for help and direction. They should always make us feel safe and make sure that, as kids, we follow their rules. But because we are all human, we can all make mistakes.
We don’t often think of our parents as “just people” when we’re young. We don’t see them as just that. These people we call Mom and Dad made us, watch over us, and keep us safe. As kids, we thought Mommy and Daddy were gods and goddesses, and there was nothing they couldn’t do.
Everything a parent does and how they do it affects their child’s mind in a big way. The way we talk to our kids shapes how they talk to themselves. It tells them what they should do and what they shouldn’t do.
If you are often angry and mean to your kids, they will be like that when they grow up. They will eventually do to themselves what you are doing to them now. We all make mistakes, so if you’re making one right now, why not fix it? We want our kids to have a voice inside their heads that doesn’t put them down.
If you are kind and encouraging to your child, that will become their inner voice. This will be much more helpful than having an inner voice that tells them they aren’t good enough.
You should never say the following things to your kids, no matter how angry you are or what they have done:
“Stop crying immediately!”
Even if your child is crying for no reason, you shouldn’t make them feel stupid for crying and not being able to stop. They can’t help how they feel. They should be allowed to feel the way they do. If you tell your child this, you’re teaching them that it’s not okay to feel things.
In the end, they will put a stop to everything. When this happens, you should try to say something else. Something like, “It’s okay to cry, but you still need to understand that what you did was wrong.”You’ll get much further if you do this.
“I am disappointed in you!”
When a child is in trouble and already feeling bad about what they did, this is what their parents tell them. Help your child find the right way to do things when they do something wrong. Don’t let them think they’re a failure. Try saying, “What you did was wrong; let’s talk about it, okay?”
“You are not enough [something]!”
It hurts when you tell your child that they are missing something on the inside or on the outside. Even though you don’t say they aren’t enough, that’s what you suggest.
If you don’t deal with this soon, your child will start to feel like they aren’t good enough in life as a whole. Try saying, “You’re good enough at [something], but we can do better.”
“Big girls and boys, don’t get scared.”
They do, yes. This is not a good way to protect your child. You can’t make them feel better by telling them not to be afraid. Everyone, including you, gets scared sometimes. You should teach your kids to face their fears instead of running away from them. Say something like, “It’s okay to be scared; everyone gets scared sometimes, but I know something that will help.”
“You have no value!”
This is not something you should ever tell your kids. You are the person they want to please the most, so they shouldn’t worry about what you might think about them. By saying this, you’re sending them on a mission to find support wherever they can. Try saying something like, “No one is perfect, honey; you’ll do better next time.”
“You are such a bad kid!”
You should never make your child think that they are bad people in general. This is also a good way to use the word “rotten.” You could say, “What you did was bad.” Even if your child does things that you don’t like, that shouldn’t make you think badly of them as a whole. Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn’t mean everyone is bad.
“I’m doing everything for you!”
Well, duh, this is your kid, so you should do everything for them. You shouldn’t let that bother you about them. They didn’t make the decision to be born.
If you have said this to your child, you should be ashamed of yourself. When it comes to what you do for them, they are not the problem; they are there for you to care for, not the other way around.
“You’re too fat.”
This is another thing that doesn’t belong on this list. You should never talk down to your kids in this way. If you have a fat kid, he or she already knows it. They definitely hear about it every single day from other kids. Home should be a safe place for them, not somewhere where they will be bullied even more.
Try saying something like, “I want to get in shape and be healthier. Do you want to try it with me?” I don’t want to do this by myself.” Negative labels, like calling your kid fat, will definitely cause them to have eating problems and a bad view of their bodies.
Be careful about what you tell your kids. They are the ones who will care for you when you can’t care for yourself anymore. If they hate who they are and how you treat them as they grow up, they won’t be much help when you need care. Don’t put your kids down. Instead, love them for who they are and push them to do good.
Courtesy: https://awarenessact.com/