Being single for some time does have its benefits, but when you get ready to date again, the journey to find love can seem daunting. You may try to find someone and wonder why it just isn’t happening for you.
In life, much of our outcome comes from the choices, behaviours, and habits we implement along the way. Because of that, at times, we may not even realise that we are blocking ourselves from what we want unintentionally.
If you are trying to find love and are coming up dry, it could be that your behaviours are preventing you from finding love. Here are nine behaviours that could keep you single:
1. Not learning from your mistakes.
Finding love is a journey, and much like any other journey, there will be moments in which you experience failure. When failure arises in life, the mistakes that led us there should serve as learning experiences.
However, when you continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, you are doomed to repeat the same cycle. In turn, you will experience the same failure.
2. Believing that there are no good ones left.
Everything we accomplish in life starts with our minds. But when you start with a pessimistic attitude and believe that “there are no good women left” or “there are no good men left,” you prevent your progress.
Additionally, you may end up blocking yourself from even trying, and when you do try, you may settle time and time again for the wrong ones.
3. having unrealistic expectations.
No one is perfect. Yes, it’s great to have standards, but when your standards are unreachable, you are going to end up single. Part of finding love is learning to accept the flaws of others because we are all flawed.
I am not saying to settle for someone terrible, but if you find a good person and they have a few minor flaws and you shut them out for not reaching your standards, you are setting yourself up for failure.
4. Jumping in too quickly.
Another recipe for disaster is trying to jump into a serious relationship too quickly. A lot of people do this because they sense a good connection, and out of fear of losing it or of being alone, they want to seal the deal.
Unfortunately, one of two things results from this: you end up in a bad relationship without giving yourself the chance to figure that out, or you push the other person away because they aren’t ready to speed things up.
5. Waiting it out.
Some people have the mindset that they will just wait for the right person to come along, yet they wonder why they can’t find love.
While it is true that people can come into your life without you trying, it’s much better to set your intentions towards finding love and, at the very least, push yourself to network and go on dates.
6. Being overly critical of yourself.
When you are overly critical of yourself with someone new, they are likely to pick up on your self-criticism, and they are likely to believe you. Why wouldn’t they? You are the person who knows yourself best, and they will take you at your word.
On the other hand, you may end up emanating the wrong vibes, which isn’t very attractive. Confidence is sexy. Not arrogance, but there is most definitely something to be said for confidence.
7. Attaching yourself to emotionally unavailable people.
It may be tempting to settle into the first connection that seems comfortable, but be wary of attaching yourself to emotionally unavailable people.
You may assume that with time, they will open up to real love with you, but in most cases, an emotionally unavailable person isn’t going to suddenly open up because you waited on them.
8. Being a toxic date.
In some cases, we are the toxic date. Everyone has toxic traits, and if you aren’t self-aware, you may not even realise the vibes you are giving off. Going on a date and complaining about everything and everyone in your life is not a good look.
Talking badly about your ex with a new possible love interest isn’t the best play. And acting rude or disinterested as a means of playing hard to get isn’t going to get you another date.
9. Settling for “almost” relationships.
An almost-relationship is a situation in which you have a good connection with someone and it feels like it’s heading towards commitment, but it never does.
This may happen when you start talking to someone, becoming intimate with them, and dating them, but they express disinterest in commitment at that time. So, you wait and give them time, but they never change their outlook.
Suddenly, you are doing boyfriend/girlfriend things without the benefit of exclusivity or commitment. In turn, you are wasting your time.
Source: https://awarenessact.com/