We try to see the best in people when we’re looking for a partner. Because of this, we are often caught off guard by who they really are, which can lead to a bad situation.
A lot of people want to think that they will never be manipulated by someone. They also think that if they knew their partner was controlling or even harmful, they would leave right away. Things aren’t always black and white, though.
It’s easy for manipulators to get what they want because they know how to hide their actions or put on a front. To help you figure out if your partner is a great manipulator, here are nine red flags you should look out for.
1. They constantly cross the line.
No matter how many times you tell them not to, they always cross those lines.
Some things that happen when you tell your partner you don’t like something and they still do them are very bad. This is disrespectful in the first place, and it crosses personal limits in the second.
2. When you say no, they refuse to accept it.
People who are manipulators will do anything to get what they want. They don’t care what other people say, and they probably won’t accept no. They will instead bother you until you say yes, or they will keep going anyway.
3. They only tell you what they want you to hear.
When you ask them about something, they leave out information to make you happy. A lot of the time, you learn things about them that they never told you or were honest about.
It almost makes you feel uncomfortable. They might not think it’s lying, but hiding facts and information is the same thing.
4. When you call them out, they turn it around on you.
They will even play tricks on you when you try to tell them how you feel about how they act. One thing you could say is that the way they’re talking to you is making you feel sad or awkward. They will say that it’s because of the way they talk to you.
5. They are always making you feel guilty.
You always feel bad about yourself or like you did something wrong, even though you haven’t. They always make you feel bad about yourself, and when you bring something up, they always say it’s your fault.
6. You don’t know who you are anymore.
People who are manipulators don’t set limits, and they often see their partners as an extension of themselves. They might try to get you to do or agree with things that you don’t want to, and in the end, you’ll feel like a shadow of the person you used to be.
7. The relationship is one-sided.
You are always the one who puts in the work in a relationship. They ask you to help them or do things for them all the time, but you never do anything back. It can feel like you are the only one trying to make things work when everything is against you.
8. They triangulate.
Adding a third party to a fight is a way for manipulators to get what they want. If you don’t agree with them on something, they will only tell a close friend about it and then tell that friend to try to get you to agree with them.