A lot of people think that a marriage can just run on autopilot by itself without any effort from either partner. Many people’s attitude is, “Ahhhhh! I’m finally married! Now I can just be myself and don’t have to impress my spouse anymore.”
But this is exactly what gets you into trouble. Think of it this way. If you have a house plant and you don’t water it and give it attention, it will wither away and die, right? Well, marriages are no different. If you neglect your partner and stop putting in the effort, the intimacy in the marriage will dιє too.
Addíctíσns come in many forms. Most people think of alcohol or drug additives when they hear that word. And those are definitely huge problems. But a person can literally get attached to anything.
They could be added to video games, movies, shopping, work, social media, or anything else. The point is that if they are obsessed with something else other than their spouse, then they are turning their attention away from the marriage.
And when that happens, it’s inevitable that it will affect the inti.macy in the marriage.
When parents are running around after their children, taking care of them all the time, they get tired and exhausted. It leaves little time to talk to your spouse, go out on dates, and have fun. So, while having little ones run around the house is great, it can really take a toll on the intimacy in your marriage.
From emotional chєαtíng to micro-chєαtíng, there are a lot of different ways that people can be unfaithful to their spouses these days.
When one or both of the spouses are having an affair of any kind, again, it is turning outside of the marriage. This is a form of betrayal to your partner. And of course, both emotional and physical inti.macy would subside as a result of the change.
When one or both people are selfish and constantly want to get their way with subtle manipulation, then it’s almost impossible to have inti.macy in a marriage.
The problem is that the selfish person sometimes doesn’t even know that they are being selfish. And even if their spouse points it out to them, they still might not agree or acknowledge that it’s true.
But when selfishness continues in a marriage, then resentment will build over time.
It’s not the conflict in and of itself that is the problem, but rather how the two people handle the conflict that eats away at intimacy.
For example, if you both feel like you are competing with each other to “win” an argument, then you can’t feel very close to your partner because you feel like they are your “enemy.”
But if you want to have more inti.macy in your marriage, then you will have to adopt much healthier ways of dealing with your problems. Seeing yourself as a team and reaching solutions together in a calm, rational manner will create a stronger bond.
Couples have work, children, cooking, and laundry to do. So, it’s normal for marriages to fall into the routines of life. You have to, or else your lives won’t function very well, right?
But some people get really bored with the routines and crave something else. So, instead of thinking of new and creative ways to make your marriage more exciting, sometimes people just stay bored.
Or, they turn outside their marriage to affairs or addictions to spice up their lives. Of course, this does nothing but ᴋɪʟʟ the inti.macy in the marriage even more.