People have deep emotional wants that need to be met, especially when they are in a relationship. Our wants can make us feel confused, let down, and unsatisfied when they aren’t met. This makes us feel like our partners don’t care about us. Of course, it’s not always easy to tell when our partner is mentally ignoring us in a relationship.
We might still want to trust them because we love them, even if it is true. But there are times when you just can’t give something the benefit of the doubt. When that happens, you have to face the facts.
Even though it might be hard, the only way to solve the problem and meet your wants is to admit that there is one. So, here are 12 signs that someone isn’t giving you enough mental support in a relationship.
1. Your partner shuts down a lot.
If you talk to them or argue with them, they quickly become defensive. When they get angry, they refuse to talk things out and just walk away. Because of this, you feel like you can never really talk to them.
2. They always divert attention back to them.
People will change the subject to themselves when you are talking to them about something important to you. Because they always want the attention to be on them, you don’t get to talk much about yourself or the things that are important to you.
3. The relationship seems unfair to one person.
The relationship seems unfair on both ends. You realise that you are always the one who tries, always the one who gives support, and always the one who loves and cares for others.
4. They don’t make eye contact.
They don’t look at you very often when you’re talking to them. Either they aren’t paying attention because they are on their phone or they are lost in their own thoughts. Either way, it makes you feel like they don’t want to be with you.
5. They often forget things that are important to you.
They forget when you tell them about a big event coming up. They don’t say sorry when they forget important things you tell them.
6. You feel unsupported.
When you tell them the good news, you never feel encouraged. You don’t go to them first when good things happen anymore because of that.
7. They refuse to talk about relationship problems.
When you tell them about a problem in the relationship, they won’t admit it. They act like you are trying to start a fight every time you try to tell them how you feel, shut down, and stonewall you, even though you don’t want to argue. In the end, nothing is ever fixed.
8. When you seek comfort from them, they always say the wrong thing.
Sometimes, when you need help and support, they never say the right thing. They could turn the tables on you or get academic and say something that has nothing to do with how you feel. You can never count on them to help you feel better.
9. You feel alone when you are with them.
It’s like you’re all by yourself even when you’re with them. When you’re really by yourself, you feel less alone.
10. You feel like you have to suppress your emotions.
People either shut you down, avoid you, or talk over you when you talk about your feelings, so you try to keep them inside. To keep your feelings inside is making things harder than they need to be in your relationship and in your life.
11. They interrupt you constantly.
They will suddenly cut you off in the middle of a conversation and not pay any attention to what you were saying, even if it’s something very important. They make you feel like what you think and feel doesn’t matter.
12. They never empathise with you.
And when you’re upset and hurt, they can’t see anything from your point of view. It seems like you always have to tell them how you feel, but it never quite gets through.